Entering Transition

My roommate Anne just began packing, and she started by taking all her posters and pictures off the walls, which I think is a cruel beginning to the end, leaving the room naked and echoing!

I guess it just hasn't quite hit me yet. Our last day of teaching was yesterday, next week is final exam week, and after that I'm leaving this beautiful country of El Salvador. I'll be parting with my housemates who feel like family to me, my students, whom I've grown to love and have learned so much from...the warmth of the Latin culture, the mountains and the beach...

This past year has definitely been the most adventurous, exciting, and memorable one of my life. It came with many challenges, stretched me at times to my limits, and forced me to grow up in many ways...while also revealing to me how much more growing up I have left to do!

Now I'm entering a time of transition. I'll be returning home during the first week of June. I'm looking forward to quality time with my family and friends I've missed so much!! I'll be back in the coffee shop at Calvary for a while (my favorite job!), but I'll be needing a full time job soon. What happens next will be interesting. All I know is that I'm not planning on coming back here, nor am I planning on getting settled in the Chicago burbs again. At this point I feel lead elsewhere and would like to experience another part of the States, preferably with mountains and more sunshine (I'm definitely spoiled now with all that)!! I've applied to several jobs in Colorado and Arizona and have gotten some calls back. Please pray that I will hear clearly the voice of God as I'm going to be making some big decisions soon...I know He's got it all worked out - the way this opportunity in El Salvador came about so perfectly is good proof of that :)

I want to thank everyone who has prayed even once for me during my time here. God has faithfully pulled me through every obstacle, has provided my every need before I even knew I had it...like when he sent close friends to join me in this journey for the entire year. How much I've needed that support and companionship!!! I'm still amazed at how the Lord sent another teacher to share my load of classes in September before I even asked for help. At my moment of burnout and desperation, God already had a plan. I'd never felt so rescued! And He came to my rescue again in the ocean riptide last month. He also kept me from a potentially wicked scorpion sting last summer, as I had one coming towards my head in the middle of the night and someone just happened to get up at that exact moment and see it! There are many more stories I could share of how God has taken care of me here - He's been so faithful :)

My 23rd Birthday

This week I turned 23. The day before my birthday, a few of my students surprised me by turning our Bible study into a birthday party - we had so much fun! We played sardines in our house with all the lights out, made goofy videos, they stuffed my face in the cake and then we had a cake eating contest.

That night, my roommates decided to blast music and noisemakers in my face while singing happy birthday, after I'd fallen asleep. I'm not quite sure what they were expecting me to do, all I remember is feeling terrified that I was being attacked and that it might already be the morning! Apparently the only response they received from me were serveral series of grunts and moans...

Then in the morning, I was walking to school when suddenly, I heard footsteps picking up speed behind me and then felt hands grabbing me from behind! I thought I was about to get robbed, or worse, until I turned around and saw that it was only some students trying to scare the living daylights out of me - they had been waiting outside my house with balloons, waiting for me to leave!

At night, a bunch of us went out for dinner at a Mexican restaurant. The Mariachi singer made me dance with him...and for any of you who know my dancing skills...this was a more than awkward moment, but it definitely got me laughing (not to mention the audience).

Yesterday we had an afternoon soccer match between teachers and students - an all school event. It was pretty comical, and I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it! I especially loved that the games were taking the place of classes ;)

Saved from the Sea

I never knew until now that my friends have long considered me "not cautious" and "risky" in the ocean, and I recently discovered that it's probably true...

This past Sunday my friends and I were swimming about waist deep - me, Courtney, Amber, and Tim. In the course of a minute, Courtney and Amber felt like the waves were getting too high and headed back, while Tim and I stayed put without much thought, simply finding the waves "extra fun". As I write this, I want to call myself an idiot, but let me remind you that this is all happening in a matter of seconds...

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I noticed shortly thereafter that I could no longer touch the bottom, so I waited a moment for the tide to recede...except it didn't...and the waves were suddenly building to heights of at least 10 feet. I looked to my right - Tim was several feet from me, saying we needed to head back. I looked in front of me - Amber and Courtney were close to shore, and our friend Chamba (whose beach house we were at) must've just entered the water. He started motioning for us to come back. I looked behind...just as a massive wave was rising to swallow me. I figured I could ride it out. But after it passed...and another...and another...I realized I was only getting further and further from shore. I tried swimming forward but got nowhere, and then I remembered the golden rule: swim parallel to shore when you can't get back. So I tried that...but it got me nowhere. "How are you over there?!" Tim yelled out to me...and all I could answer was "Scared". He said he was too. I started to yell for help.

The thought definitely occurred to me in this moment, "I might die out here." And I started to pray outloud for God to come help me. I told myself not to panic because I knew that would make my condition worse...but I'm quite sure I did, regardless of my efforts to stay calm...I knew I was in trouble.

Just then I noticed that Chamba was swimming out to us. He grabbed me by the arm and started pulling me - pulling me...he said he couldn't touch either, he said everything was okay but then turned around and asked Tim for help (who obviously couldn't because he was in the same situation)...how was he pulling me toward shore when the waves were now even higher? I kept swallowing water. Tim was furiously swimming.

And then, moments later, all 3 of us made it back to standing water! I walked back to shore in a daze of shock, on the verge of vomiting from all the salt and panic. Chamba had risked his life for me! (I later thought about how his real name is "Salvador," which means "Savior" and told him his name must've been prophetic).

The Lord saved my life that day - and not just mine - I know there must've been angels pulling us back. I just found out that two weeks ago more than 14 people drowned near the same beach during one of the high tides. It's sobering to think of how fragile life is, how quickly it can be lost. I recounted the story to my mother later that evening. "At what hour did all this happen?" she asked. I told her and she replied, "That was the very hour I felt lead to pray for you today...I had no idea how urgent it was!"

How many times do I worry about my life and what I'm doing with it, where I'm going with it...yet if God is willing to save me from drowning in the ocean, surely He will take care of everything else! I love the quote, "I am immortal until my work on earth is done." Of course this shouldn't translate, "Do all the most daring things you can think of to risk your life and you still won't die". I do believe God has my days numbered, and that each one is a gift with a special purpose. How much more do I believe that now! I was never so happy to wake up on a Monday morning in my life!!

"I sought the Lord, and He answered me" - Psalm 34:4

"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever." - Psalm 107:1

Questions We Ask

The third quarter ended a month ago, followed by our school receiving another 5 years of accreditation (something everyone has been anticipating and preparing for all year). To me, the month felt really laid back. Our students had early dismissal for 2 full weeks because of testing! During this time, my friend Tina visited with me for a while after working on a construction project with our church and Kings Castle Ministries. Having Tina here was like the sun coming out - everything was brighter! It was great to also see one of my pastors and his wife and other friends on the team.

It was only a week before another team from my home church was in town - the senior high group. I didn't know a lot of the team actually, but I quickly felt connected with them as we spent the weekend together. So many of them were an incredible encouragement to me and they accepted me as one of the team, teaching me the dramas, sharing their stories. I was so excited to get out on the streets here in San Salvador with a bunch of teenagers and watch God speak to His children...I couldn't count how many kids prayed to know Jesus. How much I wanted to stay there for the week! But I was gently reminded that my students are just as important and they are my reason for being here.

While it's been difficult to get connected with ministries in this country, it finally began to happen these past 2 months. We've been going once a week to The Love Link, a hospital for malnourished babies. These babies are admitted free of charge and are treated usually for a month at a time while the parents are trained on how to better care for their child. Many of the cases are not a result of poverty only, but of ignorance due to lack of education. Some of these babies have been fed coffee, for example, rather than milk. 85% of these babies come in with the prognosis that they will die due to their malnutrition, however, 99% admitted to The Love Link have survived. In the meantime, these babies need to be held and fed very often, and that's the part we get to help out with. It's awesome!!

This past week, my housemates and I started a group for the high school girls that will be meeting in our home every week until the end of the year. It turns out that none of the girls have had the chance to be part of a girls-only small group before, and are very excited about this (as we are). I feel like I’m finally getting to know my students outside of the classroom. I'm looking forward to seeing a lot of emotional and spiritual growth in these girls and in myself as a result of what God is doing here.

The first week of April was vacation, as it was Semana Santa (Holy Week). My friends and I went to Utila, Honduras, an island in the Caribbean…there’s nothing like the island life!! I took a scuba course for diver certification, so I went diving several times - what a weird sensation to breathe underwater - and I loved it! (except for the time my regulator got twisted and told me I had no air and I panicked). The people in my class were from all corners of the world – (ironically including Australia even though they have the best diving site for reefs)...it happens to be that Honduras is the cheapest place in the world to get certified. If anyone loves a good backpacker's community, I highly suggest this island.

Now I'm down to the last 5 weeks of teaching. Ahhh...we've come down to the infamous question, haven't we? The "What are you doing after you're done teaching?" otherwise translated, "What are you really doing with your life?"

And I could answer that question with some clever ideas or some pretty adventurous dreams I intend to pursue...but when it all comes down to it I realize that a lot of the ideas and dreams I've had in the past have come about in different ways than I'd planned. I've come to believe that planning life is a waste of time. A planned life is closed, restricted, narrow...I'm not saying we should throw goals out the window, but mapping out every step of how to get there is rarely necessary. Sometimes we try to put the puzzle together before we have all the pieces and it serves only to frustrate us. And sometimes we won’t get the pieces until the exact moment that we need it, not any earlier.

So…keeping in mind that I don’t yet have all the pieces to my puzzle, God willing, I’ll be returning home beginning to mid June…I’m still waiting to see if I can work with King’s Castle for some time before leaving. Please pray that God shows me which steps to take next. Thanks to all of you who have diligently prayed for me while I’ve been here – God has faithfully kept me and I have no doubts that your prayers have helped.

It was scary at first to come here to such a dangerous country. So much about what I would be doing or where I would be living was unknown. But I think what happened at Virginia Tech yesterday is an example of how it doesn’t matter where we are, evil can still find us. However, if safety is what we seek and lead our lives by, we’ll be driven by fear. That’s not really living…that’s not the life I want. Nor is it the life God has called us to as Christians, for it says in 2 Timothy 1:7, “God did not give us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” I’m angry to see what has just happened in my country. I’m angry to think of how many lives were unjustly cut short by someone else’s selfish behavior. This will cause a wave of questions among the sensitive and the seeking – people you sit next to in class, people in line with you at Wal-Mart, your neighbors…maybe even yourself.

I don’t have a lot of answers, just One. Jesus Christ is the only one who has claimed to be my creator, died for the sins of the world (including the awful events of things like 9-11 and Virginia Tech), risen from the dead (with numerous witnesses), gives eternal life to any that choose to commit their lives to Him, and actually promises and provides peace. Not lack of troubles or pain – those are inevitable because we live in a corrupted world – but peace in the midst of pain. This is the only answer I have for anyone asking questions. If you’re not asking questions, someone is bound to ask you what your answer is. Are you ready?

“Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.”
– 1 Peter 3:17

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” – John 14:27